That time I wanted to Give It All Up

In the past year business has been pretty hard. I know the past few months have been rough for us all with COVID-19 lurking in the shadows and now the more recent events of Police brutality. Being an entrepreneur you will learn so many lessons. You will face may challenges that will have you asking yourself "Why in the heck did I start a business?" Through it all you will learn that making your own schedule, having time for the ones you love & of course making MONEY makes all the struggles worth it. So just a little bit about a few of my struggles.

Well a few months ago I hit a dark spot, being quarantined didn't help. I felt as if I had lost myself, I was confused and had some creative blocks. I was just going through the motions of trying to convince others to shoot with me. Well, not convince but maybe more so post on Social media with the caption "BOOK NOW". I mean who wants to hear that? I didn't! I'm not even sure why I posted captions like that when I didn't want to see it myself lol.

I'm sure other entrepreneurs have been through this. Being in business for yourself things may not go as we expect. You start an Ecommerce business and expect to get a sale the next day. You wake up and NOTHING! Weeks, even months go by and not as many sales as you want. Shoot, some people none at all. We set up this expectation without putting in the all the work that is needed. We sit behind the screen assuming people know who we are. Well that had to stop for me! No more sitting and waiting. I always used the excuse of having to be here for my kids as to why I couldn't go out to network, even when my husband was home in the evenings. I put being a wife and mother first but how was my business going to grow? How was I to contribute more to my family?

I mean don't get me wrong 2019 was an awesome growth year for my business but I wanted more. I mean who doesn't? I needed to get out of this shell I placed myself in which in turn contributed to me losing who I was, my creative juices and the things I like to do. So I took advantage of being quarantined. I dug deep into learning. I signed up for every free course I could, even paid for some. I took so many classes my brain started to feel jammed and I began to feel burnt out! Eventually I had to process all the information I had learn. I also gave my email to anyone who offered free downloadable business info. Everything I signed up for contributed in a different way. Let's just say, I was HUNGRY!

I also started creating stock photos for small businesses, like myself. Entrepreneur's who are not able to get professional images of their products or just needed professional stock images to use to promote on social media. My goal was, and still is, to pick a different theme or color for the month and shoot!

Learning to do self portraits also became an interest of mine. I mean I have all the equipment so why not? My goal here was to create images of me so my audience could see more of who was behind the camera. I even taught my husband how to use my first camera, Canon T5, so he can assist in getting marketing content of me (he's now obsessed with shooting).

(Self portrait to the left, shot by hubby below.)

In all of this I can say that God placed people in my life to help me get over the hump of wanting to GIVE IT ALL UP! Transformation Church where Pastor Michael Todd preaches was a big part of this. I dove into his Relationship Goals series which helped me realize that God places people in your life to create relationship that will help you develop your character. I shut myself off to people, my motto was "No New Friends", because I already had GREAT ones. Having the feeling of always pouring into other people and my cup being empty was not for me. I wanted people to pour into me! I realized the people I may have looked past were the very people I needed in those moments and I am grateful for them. New and old relationship, I understand the importance so I will continue to nurture them.

With all this being said I was told "On no ma'am we don't quit, we take a step back" and that I did. Hearing those wise words was what I needed to hear. I stepped back and let God have me. Right now He's moving in my life more in ways I didn't image. My daily prayer is that I continue to keep Him in the forefront of my life because in this short time he has used me to help other people through this hard time. That alone makes me all warm inside lol (mushy moment).

Until next time people!


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